Even Flow collective
Making your fanlisting worse
Use this list as an inspiration.
- Design for one browser/resolution only. It's much easier that way. For you, of course.
- Do not offer people an option to hide their email address. After all, your script fights spam, right? Why would they want to hide their address then?
- Update as rarely as you can. You have 2 months to do that, so why bother.
- Even better, add members but ignore the ones asking for an update. After all, they don't benefit your member count.
- Remove all the info about the subject. Who needs that crap anyway? But by all means, copy /paste info from tfl.org about what's a fanlisting and put it as your about page.
- Force people to read the rules. Sure, you can't ask for code words (it's against the rules), but put rules on the join page. Even better, remove the link to the join page in the main menu so the only way to access it is through the rules page. Rules are important. Especially those that are exactly the same as all the other 342551925432135 fanlistings in the tfl.org network.
- Speaking of the rules, be very creative. Just because you have to follow tfl.org guidelines, it doesn't mean you can't present rules in your own way. So, replace "Name is required" with something like: "Don't be stupid and leave your last name, I'll delete it. And BTW, if you leave a long nickname, I will shorten it in no time, so don't try anything dumb".
- Ignore people who ask to be removed. It's not your problem they joined in the first place. You need a large members list.
- Fanlisting management script is for sissies. You do it manually. And you expect the same from your members. So, don't offer them a join form. Make them email you all their info.
- Be creative when deciding which name you like and which don't. Whenever you want, shorten someone's name or list them as anonymous. On the other occasions, leave cutegurl_305 because you kinda like it.
- Be very picky about the affiliates. So what if they own a fanlistings for a song and you own fl for a band? Their fanlisting has only 5 members. Affiliate with larger fanlistings, even though they're not in any way similar to your subject.
- Say you want to affiliate, but don't offer a contact form or your email address. When you want to affiliate, YOU send a request to the carefully selected people.
- Have a large fanlisting but don't ever ask for additional info (such as favourite song for a band or favourite character for a book). Even better, ask, but don't display that info anywhere.
- Ask for code donations but never accept any. Even better, take the donated codes but never thank or give credit.
- Always require people with websites to give you the exact link to the page with the code. Visiting their stupid website and clicking "joined" section is too much hassle for you. But let's face it, the most important is to make sure they're linking you back.
- Never read comments. We all know that field doesn't have much purpose, except for requiring a link to the page with the code (see above).
- Ignore all the general emails concerning the fanlisting. You don't have time for that crap.
- Offer a fanlisting for an adoption, get many applications and then decide to keep the fanlisting. Do this whenever you can, it's fun.
- Choose new owners for your fanlistings, but be very dissatisfied with them. Give them only two days to build new fanlistings, and never let them keep codes or layout. On the other hand, require them to link all your sites (blog, personal, collective), but forget to send them the members list. Then let them beg for it. Combine these elements for the best result.
- Choose new owners for your fanlistings, but don't bother to send rejection emails to the other applicants. Or send those emails, but make sure they're harsh. Life is tough and they have to learn it.
- Trade often. It's good for your skin. Adopt a fanlisting and ditch it in a few weeks because you lost interest. Even better, trade it for something "in", larger, or more popular at the moment.
- Trade often. And expect your members to change their links immediately, even though you didn't bother to tell them about the url/owner change. It's their responsability. If they don't manage to do it, remove their links. Simple as that.
As you can see, there are more ways to make your fanlisting worse than to make it better.
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